A fantasy cruise? now that's a question. I fear this may be one of lifes lessons. On gluttony, lust and excessive drinking, and how acting my age will stop us all sinking. But fear not, that not how this one goes. For a start the hull is made of dominoes. Captain Kirk at the magical helm, beaming us to any water, shore or realm. Starboard has no moaning, whinging, or screaming kids, just sun, lounging and heavy eyelids. Roger Moore serving drinks at port. Lager, wine, followed by a short. At the bow, Elvis sings on a neighbouring fleet, while we gorge on chocolate, ice cream and anything sweet. More peckish? the stern is made of shortcake, nibbling as dolphins dance in the wake. Our first port of call?,,, now that is a strange one. Just when you thought it was the end of the fun. We're not going to debark from our big golden tender, its back onboard for another adventure!