For a start, my dream cruise wouldn’t be for a week or a month, it would be indefinite. The sun would shine every day but there would also be a gentle warm sea breeze. There would be one area on the ship that would be totally peaceful, comfortable reclining seats in front of a large picture window to watch the scenic coastline glide past, quiet apart from the natural sound of lapping waves and the distant call of sea birds.
There would be no annoying noisy children or rude surly teenagers that reply to everything with a grunt. Another area would be Las Vegas-esque entertainment, excitement, non-stop thrills and wonder, amazing shows and shops full of glitzy goodies. There would of course be a fabulous health and beauty spa, marble pillars and starlight-spangled ceiling, a warm effervescent pool for leisurely swimming and a aromatherapy jacuzzi (of course there would never be anyone else in it!) I would leave feeling refreshed and looking ten years younger. The door of the Gymnasium would be permanently locked.
Meals would be taken in a choice of stylish reataurants, from sparkling crystal chandeliers with silver service, to replica American Diners playing rock’n’roll where the waiters all look like The Fonz. Of course wherever I chose to dine, all the food would be delicious, decadent but low-calorie too. My room, or rather State Room, would be dominated by a huge bed that felt like lying on clouds, the bathroom would be candle-lit with a large claw-footed bath with the taps in the middle so I could share the scented bubbles with someone special (George Clooney if that could be arranged please)and both have a comfy end. Also in the room would be an ample supply of sliced exotic fruit, hand made Belgian chocolates, and chilled Perrier-Jouët. Oh, and it would all be free. Permanently.