Oh honey, I know you love camping. The chilly blast of nature, the constant drizzle, the muddy boots. But when my inflatable plastic mattress deflates in the night, and I find a beetle in my bed - I yearn for a soft warm double bed, with a new mattress and a view over the ocean. When we run out of camping gas, and eat cold soup hacked from a tin opened with a ten peg, I’m thinking about rich garlicky port sauces, fresh asparagus, truffle foam, fine wines, and chocolate cake drizzled with cherry sauce. Oh, if I could swap those giant biting midges for a view of seabirds flying over the ocean. If I could wake to freshly brewed coffee, and a bakery selection…. relax to jazz with a G&T. Imagine swapping the torch for a chandelier; swap the local farmers shouting ‘get off my land’ for a welcoming crew out to create pleasure; swap the sore limbs for a sauna and a massage. Oh honey, don’t book next year’s camping trip just yet - maybe, just maybe, we might win my dream cruise.